missing you while you sleep!

My sweet baby girl.... you are sleeping right now, you were so tired tonight! And I really miss you! I want to go scoop you up to cuddle you for fifteen minutes, but I am afraid you would cry when I put you back to bed...I might so it anyway ;) the other day when you were napping, I just cried and cried because I missed you so much. Silly pregnancy hormones.. but you are my little companion- my best friend. I spend so so much time with you and I am so thankful for that time. What an incredible treat to get to stay home with you and be with you all the time. You love me so much and I am trying to soak it all up. Tonight, we had friends over for dinner and instead if playing with their daughter, you kept saying, "mama play?" And wanting to sit on my lap...more like jump on my lap ;)
You are going through a mommy mommy mommy phase right now and rejecting everyone else-including daddy. I loved listening to you play with him today- he was singing silly songs to you after your nap and you didn't ask for me for three whole minutes ;) and he took you to the store and called to tell me about a story you were telling him- love that you are starting to warm up to him as he spends more time at home with us this Winter. You want him in all our pictures, you want him to come with us everywhere...it is really sweet. I love our sweet family ♡
You also shared a donut with pops today and I think too much sugar gives you diharrea...you kept saying your tummy hurt and asking for medicine and then you had terrible diharrea in your diaper after not pooping in your diaper for weeks...poor little angel!
Anyway, i just wanted to say I love you! More than I ever knew I could and I can't wait to spend many, many more days with you my love bug!!! 

19 months!

My little love... right now, you are crying in your crib at 8:18pm because you don't want to go to sleep quite yet.  And, now you stopped after only 2 minutes. You just have way too much exploring to do to go to bed... ;) You are SO much fun at 19 months. You can talk up a storm and are always surprising us with new words that you know.  You recently started using multiple words together and will say lots of little phrases- "up, please" "not right now" "dada bye bye".  You love love love your routine and are such a happy little girl.  Right now, you are waking up around 7:30 and we have breakfast together and then clean it up.  You then get to watch some TV while I get ready for the day- you were watching a bunch of music videos (ba ba black sheep), but recently switched to an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (road racing).  Usually, you watch about 5 minutes and then ask to join me in the shower =/ I am trying to remember that you are only little once and to savor these times- you love it when I hold you in the shower and won't let me put you down, so I have to try to wash my hair one handed and not drop you.  And then I just plug the drain toward the end and you play in the bath while I get ready after... it is quite an ordeal! We try to have some sort of activity in the mornings- Mondays and Fridays we have Zane's playroom or book babies or hike it baby.  Wednesdays we go to mom's group. and then we usually run errands or have a slow, at home day on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Sundays we go to church and Saturdays I try to find something to fill our days- we were going to the farmer's market, but that has ended for the year.  You nap around 12:30-2:30 and then dad is usually home from work by 3:30.  You are just a bundle of energy- you love to dance and have recently started singing- adding in your own random words "abuelo away Mexico airplane" or tonight at dinner "din din din din" SO cute! You are not very excited about your toys unless someone plays with you- even with a toy rotation- but certain toys are really great for you like your dollhouse or your troll dolls.  You love to be outside- playing our version of basketball or jumping on the trampoline. You love to HELP with anything and everything.  You help get the chicken eggs, you always bring Cece her toys and fill up her food, you are great at picking up your toys, you love to bring things to people, you have recently wanted to help prepare food or at least "see" in your words. You know names so so well- better than any other 19 month old I know.  You can list off people by name and talk about them all the time.  You love Allison from mom's group- she is only 6 days older than you and it is so so cute watching you two start to play together.  You remember everything and will ask for very specific things- like the ducks at the library or the Minnie Mouse across the street from Grandma Sandee's house.  You are also starting to be able to express your emotions- the other night, you stayed over at Grandma Sandee's house and the next morning, you said "Grandma Sandee house ni night. Waaa" It was so sweet.  You are still so attached to mama. Grandma Sandee is the only person you will willingly go to.  You cry every time I leave you with dad.  Even if he is doing something fun like going to feed the chickens or take you to play outside, you will not go unless mama is coming too.  I know you will outgrow it, but it is so hard because I really want you to enjoy your daddy! Abuelita says it is because I am pregnant- 6 months now- with your little sister.  You must be able to sense the hormones and just want me all for yourself because you know you will have to share me soon.  I have such mixed emotions about it all- I know I will love your sister just as much (differently) than I love you, but it makes me feel sad knowing that you won't be my only baby anymore.  I feel like I will be missing out on giving you the best...and it is kind of true. But, I pray that your sister will be your best friend and she will bring you so much more than she takes from you by entering your little routine.

Johanna, you are the love of my life and the JOY in my days.  You are such a blessing and a gift from God and I am so so thankful that you are my daughter! As we continue to train you up in the way you should go and teach you all sorts of new things, you amaze me more each day.  I pray for wisdom in my parenting all the time and I pray that you will know how LOVED you are! I pray that we are able to teach you to obey and honor your parents and to love the Lord.  It is such an honor to get to teach you! I love you, my sweetheart! Sweet dreams <3

15 months!

Hi sweetheart! Today is the 4th of July and you are 15 months old! We went over to grandma and grandpa's house to celebrate- we had a bbq and jumped on the trampoline and lit a few sparklers (which you had no interest in lol). Right now, you and your daddy are both asleep and I have some free time, so I wanted to catch up on writing to you! Summer times are always so busy for us! Your dad has been working so many hours at the golf course between being the head professional and giving lessons- he usually leaves before we wake up in the mornings and then gets home somewhere between 2 and 5pm, depending how many lessons he is giving.  He has been going through a lot with his work and has decided that after this season, he will be working on the farm.  So, come November, Daddy will be home with us full time until the next busy season! I have been taking care of all the office work by myself this year and it is a challenge! I cannot get anything done in the office when you're around, so I have to work during your nap times or after you go to bed or whenever I can find someone to watch you.  Mostly, your grandma Blanca has been taking you to the field with her in the mornings and you "help" while I get office work done- it really works nicely! You LOVE to go with her! You will walk around and stuff your face with berries ;) and your cousins are usually there to play with you! Anyway, we have been so so busy around here, but it is coming to an end- fast season this year, we should be done by August!

You are OBSESSED with your cousins! Every morning when you wake, you start nursing and then right away ask for Emily (you can't say Sophie yet...).  You call your grandma Blanca "Ita" and both grandpas are called "ba ba". You say "ma ma" for grandma Sandee, so that is a bit confusing! You say "Lis" for aunt Alisa and you love to say "Alex"! You generally LOVE people! You love to say "hi" and "bye" and blow kisses. You are not at all shy! You love babies and will always say "bebe" when you see one and then make a crying noise, because clearly all babies cry, all the time ;) You are my little social butterfly!

You are SO active now! You RUN everywhere, because walking is just too slow for a girl with so many adventures! You love to explore and love new things! You also love to "help" and actually, you are helpful sometimes! You help me start the laundry machine and pull clean clothes into the hamper to fold and you are actually really good at picking up all your toys- so proud of you! You are starting to really state your opinions- you will answer no (shaking your head) to any question.  You are getting kind of picky about what you eat. You clearly communicate what you want and if I say no, you then ask "pleeeeze" and I melt everytime. You love to watch videos of Emily on my phone- it is so helpful when I need 5 minutes to get something done. You are not very into independent play- you would much much rather have someone playing with you, so that is kind of hard when I have a lot of work to do, but I am trying to slow down and just ENJOY you before you grow up! The chores will still be there after you go to bed.

Some big, exciting news- you are going to be a big sister! You love to lift my shirt and say "bebe" and give my tummy a kiss.  We told you about the baby right away and didn't really think you would care or remember, but you totally remember and talk about the baby daily. You even took a little baby troll and stuck it inside your shirt the other day and said "bebe".  SO cute! You are a little mama to all your dolls, trolls, etc. so I know you will be an amazing big sister! You recently have been trying to dress your dolls- you want to put shoes on them and will get out diapers to put on them. You rock-a-bye them and pretend to give them bottles. You also get out your books and read to them- precious! I am so excited that we will have a playmate for you in about 7 months! I am really hoping for a girl so that you can have a sister close in age, since we want to wait a while between baby 2 and 3, but we will see what God has in store!

Your daddy and I went out overnight for the first time since you were born this week- to celebrate our 3 year anniversary.  It took me so long to feel comfortable with the idea of leaving you, but you were finally sleeping through the night consistently and I felt like you would take regular milk instead of breastfeeding, so we went ahead and tried it and it went great! You had a great time with grandma Sandee! You did wake up twice during the night calling for me and wouldn't take any milk at night, but you drank a bottle before bed and took it just fine in the morning and were quick to go back to sleep when you did wake. You were SO tired when you came home that you took a 3 hour nap and then slept in until 7:45 the next morning- I mean you are usually up by 6:30, so that is a big deal! I think it is really important for our marriage, especially with another baby coming in 7 months, so we will probably be leaving you at least once a month from here on out!

It is so strange that you are old enough to leave overnight- you are not a little baby anymore! You are our toddler! Our big girl! And we are SO proud of you. You are SO much fun! You sing and dance and play and run and talk so much. and you have so much LOVE in your heart! I am so excited to see the personality that God has given you starting to really show! You are a very obedient, HAPPY, curious, sweet, and social little love! We are so so thankful that you are ours! I am so beyond amazed that God gave me a daughter and that you are so wonderful. I always wanted a baby girl and you are my little dream come true! I am working hard to soak you up in all your "little-ness" while you still think I am the most important part of your life and still want me to play with you all the time and need me so much! I love you, Johanna Maria! XOXO